Why I shouldn't tell people I teach biology

She asks me if she's sick
"Could it be the mumps?
I think my thyroid is inflamed.
Do you want to feel the lump?"

I am not a doctor.
I don't play one on TV.
I do not wear a white coat.
Botany is my degree.

My doctor explains my symptoms
in strange terms I once crammed.
I only liked plant physiology;
human anatomy be dammed.

I am not a doctor.
I don't play one on TV.
I do not wear a white coat.
Botany is my degree.