Injured in the line of duty

Yesterday while trying to show my students the seed pod of the Mimosa tree, I stepped in an ant hill without realizing it. A minute later, while crossing the street back towards campus, I felt something bite me, then noticed small ants swarming all over my khaki pants.

Playing it cool, I frantically swatted them off me. Then I realized I was standing in the middle of the road. So I crossed the street and then continued to try to get the ants off of me.

Today I have several big itchy, stingy welts on my ankles. Those suckers really got me.

Environment Rant

As global warming melts away the Artic, several countries are scrambling to lay claim to the land there. Why? So we can drill for even more oil, allowing us to burn even more fossil fuels, putting even more carbon dioxide into the environment, causing even more global warming. Hey why not thaw out the rest of the Artic while we're at it.

The irony is so painful.

OK Santa, you might need to invest in a yacht. And some motorized sleds since I don't think the reindeer will make it into the next century.

Babies 'R' Us Parking Lot: the male perspective

I was getting kind of sentimental during a recent visit to Babies 'R' Us. In the last year I've spent many hours in that store. At first it was the many happy hours wandering the store preparing and dreaming for the baby to come. Then later I spent many frantic minutes grasping for essential items and hoping I could get through the check out before my newborn went crazy.

It's hard to believe that now we are looking for toddler-transition items such as shoes and a front-facing car seat. Our recent trip could be one of our last!

Before I could get all nosgistalic and teary-eyed, however, my husband supplied enough crude banter to reset the tone of our visit.

Things that should not be said in a Babies 'R' Us Parking Lot:

"The MLFs are out in force today"
" Are you enjoying checking out the pregant ladies?"
"Well at least you know they put out."